Friday, February 15, 2008

Muslims and Virginity

Today I came across an incredible story in a French magazine

About Muslim French girls having to go through "Hymen Repair" surgery to restore their virginities so they can marry. The argument of these girls was that men would like to marry "Pure" girls and being a virgin is the ultimate sign of pureness. A happy family starts with a pure woman, to paraphrase what a French girl said.
Two points come to my mind; I thought that part of the reason for Muslims who are originally from the Middle East to live in western countries is free oneself from the pressurized, intolerant social structures that dominates life in Middle Eastern countries. Living in Franc, and freeing oneself from social stigmas and living up to personal believes and desires is the benefit of living in a secular country like France. Then why, after "enjoying" the freedom that France has to offer, girls go back to the same "shackles" they escaped from to begin with?? Why prison themselves to the same old social stigma and "complies" with old rhetoric rules they already have freed themselves from??
Secondly, what is the point of starting a happy married life that is starting on deception?? If the girls feel "guilty" about her past and decides to hide it with a surgery, what is the fault of the poor guy? And if she is NOT feeling guilty but she just want the gain the respect of her prospect husband who would’t respect her unless she was a "virgin" then his respect is not worthy to begin with, is it??
It is sad to see that educated, professional, and independent women, living in a beautiful country, still can't escaped the prisons of the life of their mothers.
I am not encouraging pre-marital sex; I am just saying that people should be responsible for their actions and not resort to deception to achieve personal gains.
I used to believe that this was a problem only for girls still living in the Middle East. Saudi Arabia and Egypt for example. In Saudi it is such a big issue, most girls resort to anal and oral sex during their pre-marriage relationships to keep their virginity intact for their wedding night. As science improved, surgery became a very widespread solution that no one can tell for sure what they are getting into. And we wonder why divorce rates are exceeding 50%, and cheating is more common than honest marriages in the last few years.
Its marriage based on DECEPTION!!! That is why... and it seems France is heading down the same road. For Muslims at least.

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